A quick list of responses to a complaint which you may find useful. It was assembled, mostly in jest, by a little group of my esteemed recalcitrant colleagues, actually, mostly the late great George Robotham. Don’t read on if you are easily offended. Happy for you to contribute your suggestions in the comments below

Response to complaints

I have a number of comments in relation to your complaint-

1 You should restrict your comments to things you have some knowledge of

2 General Colin Powell says good leadership inevitably means you end up pissing some people off.

3 My tertiary study in Management of Organisational Change tells me it is inevitable that some will resist change and sometimes you have to crash through this.

4 When I was in the Australian Army my standard comment to soldiers who complained about inconsequential things was “Sounds like a personal problem, I suggest you see the Padre”

5 You are confusing me with someone who cares about your opinion.

6 One of the problems in life is that some people engage in acts of public masturbation

7 Some blokes are born with an incredibly small penis and they try to take their frustration out on me

8 You should learn about continuous improvement, it makes a big difference

9 Those who are different change the world, those that are ordinary simply keep it that way

10 if you focus on operational things you end up putting out bushfires and not seeing and influencing the big picture.

11 Be a life- long learner

12 Do not waste your energy on things you are unlikely to be able to change

13 Get out more, smell the roses and enjoy life.

14 Accept and respect the fact that others will have opinions different to you

15 The motto of the Australian Special Air Services Regiment (S.A.S.R.) is “Who Dares Wins”

16 Be tough on the task but gentle on yourself & others.

17 Theory is important but constantly ask yourself if this will work in the real world.

18 Get out of your comfort zone. When you are out of your comfort zone you are already growing by default.

19 Excellence is deliberate, not something we stumble onto.

20 You do not know what you can get away with until you try.

21 Focus on the solution not the problem.

22 Do not be scared to go against the tide.

23 Do not associate with negative people.

24 Continually challenge yourself.

25 What does not kill you makes you stronger..

26 When you are on top you are a natural target.

27 Hang out with positive people.

28 If you cannot solve a problem it is because you are playing by the rules.

29 It is kind of fun to do the impossible.

30 Remember when thinking about leadership-Ducks quack, Eagles soar.

31 Get over yourself

32 If I want to hear shit then I will fart

33 Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do

I wish you all the success and happiness in life